The Opponent's Best Points
You can't just gloss over them, you have to refute them.
Professor Stancil might have left everyone else terrified by the end of our first class of the semester, but not me.
After the period finished, I talked to one of the students Stancil had grilled in front of the entire class about the casebook reading, and I asked her how much notice she had that she was going to be put on the spot.
“About ten minutes,” she said.
But while Stancil’s interrogation produced lots of nervous fidgeting—and innumerable brow-wipes of relief from those who weren’t called on—I thought it was rather fun. After all, we’re all going to be lawyers someday, so we’d better get used to being grilled by someone like a judge.
Professor Stancil was kind enough to give us some advice before he started in on the mock oral arguments, however:
“Don’t just gloss over any evidence that doesn’t support your side, because your opponent will be all too happy to mention it to the judge.
“Instead, be brave enough to bring up your opponent’s best points, and then explain why they’re wrong. If you bring them up, rather than your opponent, you can frame them in the light that’s most favorable to your case.”
I wrote that down so I would remember it when it was my turn to be grilled.
Think about the children
A few weeks ago, my undergrad professor and mentor, David Wiseman, cheerfully agreed to take a phone call about another article I was writing.
I live in a basement apartment where the cell reception is bad, so I had gone outside to the driveway to call him and was pacing around in the snow as we chatted.
“I love my parents to death,” he told me, “But after reflecting on my childhood, I realized that I don’t want to control my own kids to the point where they can’t learn about the world themselves.”
David told me that he had been raised in such a regimented and shielded way that he wasn’t really allowed to make mistakes.
I kicked a chunk of frozen ice on the ground and thought about my own parents. I truly believed they did a good job of keeping me accountable for my choices, while at the same time, not shielding me from the world.
I think they succeeded because they had followed Stancil’s advice.
It’s all about teaching
Well, okay, my parents are older than Professor Stancil, so maybe they didn’t get the advice from him. But they understood the concept that you can’t shield your children from the opponent’s tactics. Rather, you have to be the first to teach your children about them. If you teach about them, rather than your opponent, you can frame them in the light that’s most favorable to your case.
You might be clearing your throat and asking, “Um, what opponent?”
Oh, just “that old serpent … who is the father of all lies.”1
That scumbag.
You see, just like in the legal world, as parents, we can’t just ignore, or hide our children from, the devil’s tactics. We have to know about them, read the scriptural and modern prophetic guidance about them, and even read the scholarly research about them. And then we have to teach our children about them.
I’m not saying the world is a scary place. On the contrary, I believe the world is full of good people and good things. So when I say “the devil’s tactics,” you could also think the words “societal ills”, like technology overuse, substance abuse, or maybe even political polarization.
But at a certain point, every kid becomes a young adult and leaves their home to confront these ills—and others—for themself. If they’re educated in a way that they know what’s out there, but truly understand the reasons for their self-restraint, then they can confidently and gracefully live in the world, but not be of it.
You can do this
What this comes down to, in the end, is teaching.
It takes bravery to teach about hard things. Sometimes you’d rather ignore them. It might be easier to pull your children out of public school, turn off your WiFi router, and play Monopoly. (Alright, I went to public school, but I also played Monopoly.)
But your children—or the judge—will inevitably find out about the opponent’s best points. At that point, the choice they make will depend on whether you were able to teach your “child in the way [they] should go.”2
And even if your child makes the wrong choice the first time he is not under your watchful care, you can be assured that “when he is old, he will not depart from [your teaching.]”3 “Old” could mean “as an older teenage”, or perhaps “later in adulthood”, or maybe even “in heaven”. But in time, your teachings will have their intended effect.
So, let’s all be good learners, so we can be good teachers!
Your children will appreciate it.
(Unless you’re a scary teacher like Stancil and then maybe we can look for another method…)
A special thanks to Professors Stancil and Wiseman who reviewed this article good-naturedly.
2 Nephi 2:18
Proverbs 22:6
Emphasis added